Are You* Keeping Up?

You One says, There’s another way.

You Too insists, But what about that thing I saw on Bravo or TikTok?—Whatever, wherever the Joneses are hustlin’ these days. This You likes to keep up. 

You Too goes on, Get a real job already, will ya? Enough with the waitressing cosplay.—You Too is jonesin’ that four-digit paycheck, the one that used to come with my six-digit salary.—I’m just lookin’ out for ya. You Too is starting to sound a lot like my father.—What about this, says You Too. And what about that?—My father would be proud. 

What about this kitchen? I say, feeling the power of You Too. The linoleum countertop has puckers and rot spots from when the sink used to leak. The forty-year-old cabinets are literally crumbling in the corners. 

I imagine myself standing in a new and much-improved kitchen. The ugly floor tiles are gone, along with the decades of grime packed into their cracks. The space is fresh and organized. Mise en place. 

I am baking bread and scrambling eggs. I am wearing my new apron. I got it from Amazon, but it’s Kate Spade. It’s super cute with wide, scalloped edges and a dark blue trim. Polka dots and tiny spades are sprinkled like confetti across the front in classic-Kate colors red, yellow, pink, gray, and blue.  

You Too says, You look great!

*

I am back in a dingy kitchen, but still wearing my apron. I feel like a Disney princess as I flutter my voice and daydream about love.  

I am You One, I call out to my higher self. The Universe echoes back, You won… You won…You won.

I am a destined winner. The Universe tells me so. Who needs a real job anyway?