I am a patient person.
I am a patient person.
I am becoming a patient person.
One word at a time. The auto-fill is trying to rush me.
I am a patient person. [she types in full.]
*
Somewhere, I’m sure there is a study that connects impatience to quitting. If reason stands, impatient people are more likely to quit. You know what they say, When the going gets tough, the impatient get distracted.
They’re so cynical. I prefer to think of it like this: When the going gets tough, the impatient are not afraid to try something new.
What’s the correlation between impatience and risk?—This is a risk. And I am impatient for results. Anecdotal, but evidence nonetheless.
Wait, I’m confused. What exactly is so risky about writing on the internet. Big whoop. Billions of people do that effortlessly everyday.
To be real. It is risky to be real. Especially on the internet. Because everyone can see you and judge you.
It can be risky to be real in real life too. Which is probably why I sometimes feel like I hardly know my real self at all.
Which is another reason why this is all so risky. We are meeting her for the first time together, the real Cha Cha. Beat by beat, she’s breaking free.—Who will she be? What will she say? What will they think? What will happen?—The vortex of risk and impatience.
I am impatient to know what will happen if I try. I am making this up as I go along. There is no guarantee. The only way to know is to find out. Slowly.
Is there an antidote for impatience? Faith. Faith is the first word that I think of. Faith that I am moving in the right direction, and that if I keep going, I will eventually align exactly where I am meant to be.
The opposite of Faith is Doubt. Doubt makes me impatient to solve the problem. Doubt thinks that I am a problem. Faith thinks that Doubt is full of sh*t.
I have faith. That’s all I can do. I surrender to time. To the process. The awakening. The journey.
I am learning to appreciate patience. When I type slower, I make fewer mistakes. My words are intentional. My thoughts are intentional. I write with intention to pay attention and a wave of relief floods my body. It only lasts a second or two, maybe even less. But I feel the full embrace of the Universe as she whispers, “One word at a time.”