I have nothing to wear!
Of course, I have an entire closet of options, but nothing feels right for who I am today. All my t-shirts are basic, boxy, and boring. But that dress is way too special for just another day. I am standing in my underwear, momentarily distracted by the power of a metaphor.
Sometimes I feel too special, too brilliant, too vibrant. My ideas are too unconventional, inappropriate, and grandiose.
Most mornings, I shrug, select a t-shirt, and wrangle into a pair of jeans. I am properly dressed to be nobody and go nowhere. I numb myself through the intake of constant media, food, and smoke. I am desperate to quiet my mind because she is always yapping about what could be if only things were different than the way they are.
I am caught between delusion and disillusion. I feel compelled to create, but chaotic in my conception. The irony of salvation: the devil is in the details.
It is uncomfortable to try, and it is confusing to be uncomfortable. It makes me feel like I am doing something wrong.
So, I stop trying. I watch Bravo, and I steam clean the area rugs. A year goes by, and I feel empty and pathetic. Clearly, doing nothing was the wrong thing to do.
I consider doing something. But what?—Say yes to the dress, the Universe whispers and winks because she loves metaphors just as much as I do.
It’s the next day, and I’m not sure what to wear. Who am I?, I ask out loud, but I know there is only one way to find out. I strip away the noise, gluttony, and intoxication. I stand, exposed in my current state, special, brilliant, and vibrant.
I am ready to experience what is.—What is the next step?
The Universe is smiling. Not only because I look good naked, but also because I finally understand. Our existence is not a crisis to avert, but a process to embrace.
The existential process says, ‘come as you are,’ ‘start here,’ and ‘wear whatever the f*ck you want.’ The existential process doesn’t care what you’ve been told. The Truth is revealed through personal experience. Reality is subjective, beyond logic and reason.
This dress is a bold choice. Now, watch me twirl.