*Let Me Out I’m Stuck

Monday, November 5, 2012

10:42 a.m.

New Jersey Turnpike

I am on the bus to New York City. My first official day commuting from Cherry Hill. 

So much changed this weekend. Hurricane Sandy was pretty much the end of my living with my aunt and uncle. After the storm, my father drove me to their house to collect my things. I live in New Jersey now. 410 Judgementalstein Road. 

Get this—the only way my parents would agree to let me live with them without trying to control me is if I agreed to see a therapist. Eyeroll. Ok, whatever guys. 

My first therapy appointment is today at 3:15, on the Upper West Side (duh.). Then I’m going to meander down, through Central Park, to my evening class at Bryant Park. I am craving a good city walk.

After class, I’ll hustle back through the Port Authority and get back on the bus. I’ll zone out for the 90-minute ride. My Regina Spektor playlist will comfort me on the lonely ride, back to my parents’ house. 

Tomorrow, I’ll do it all again. 

The clocks changed this weekend. We fell back an hour. I hate when that happens. Today, it was dark by 4:45 p.m. 

The sun is weak and the wind is strong. Winter is coming.

Keep calm and cha cha on.—This will be my winter mantra. 

Keep calm and Cha Cha on.—You hear that, Cha Cha? Be patient and proud. Be practical and polite. Do not get overwhelmed with everything you wish to be doing, but focus on what you need to do in order to propel yourself into freedom. Because that’s the next step—freedom. Away from those judgemental f*cks. 

My parents think I am a joke. An obnoxious joke. This winter is not going to be easy. I just have to make it to May, when I graduate and can start applying for jobs in California. (I don’t need to remind you that I have no money so I can’t move to California without a job.)

Keep calm and Cha Cha on.—Right now, I’m all I’ve got. I believe in you, Cha Cha!